”Twas the night before a consult…

I’ll tell you a funny story that happened to me this week. I normally wouldn’t share a client story, but this client was happy for me to do so.

On Wednesday morning, my first client was an online booking. All the information I had was that the clients name was S. Clause. 

Okay… So it’s about 5 weeks until Christmas so I actually thought that my husband was playing a joke on me. He would do that! 

I boiled the kettle, made a cup of tea, and thought that maybe my husband was thinking I needed an hour off to make a phoney booking for me. I was absolutely expecting that there was no S. Clause.

And then I heard my door slide open and the little bells on my door tinkled. Down the stairs I went.

‘Hi, can I help you?’

‘Oh, um, my wife booked me in.’

‘S. Clause?’

‘Yes, that’s me.’ 

Okay, so this guy was exactly what Santa would look like. Well, if Santa wore jeans and a  check shirt. He had rosy cheeks and his eyes actually twinkled. 

I played along as I invited him to take a seat. Gee, hubbie had gone to a lot of trouble for this prank!

‘Can I grab some details please? Name and date of birth?’

‘Hmm, well, it’s actually Nicholas. And my date of birth is debatable.’

Oh man. Really? I think I raised my eyebrows. ‘And the S is for?’

‘Oh, well, it’s actually Saint Nicholas,’ he said with a chuckle.

‘Saint Nicholas Clause?’ 


Well, we never mock or point out an unusual name in our family, so I let it go.

‘And what brings you here today Mr Clause?’

‘Everyone calls me Nick. And I’m really fine. My wife made the appointment.’

That’s okay, this is a pretty normal response. 

‘Well, is there anything going on with your health that your wife might think could be improved?’ I asked.

Those eyes twinkled at me and I thought, maybe his wife sent him to me because he thinks he’s Santa! I need to refer this guy on to someone else!

‘I’ve been a bit stressed. It’s making me, well, a bit cranky. I’m tired. I’ve just lost the joy that I normally have at this time of year, and I’m just not sure what to do about it. It’s not good in my line of work.’

‘Well, let’s have a look at your lifestyle and health state.’

I have to say that by now I’d forgotten about the whole Santa thing… Mostly. He was a lovely older gentleman with a concerned wife, who was carrying a bit of extra weight and judging by the colour of his cheeks, could have blood pressure issues.

The consult revealed a sweet tooth, predominantly from cookies, a high dairy intake, very little vegetable or salad intake and little sleep. His blood pressure was surprisingly fine. I tested his zinc level which was quite low and iridology highlighted stress rings and a sluggish digestive system.

A bit more of a chat revealed that Nick was feeling exhausted, achey and he was cramping in his legs. He also thought he might be getting arthritis and he was feeling a lot of work pressure… Which was apparently seasonal.

‘Have you seen your doctor lately? Some blood tests would be in order here.’

‘Well, there aren’t really doctors where I live. It’s a little isolated, actually. There is the Health Elf.’

‘The Health Elf…’

‘Um, yes.’

‘Okay. And have you seen your health elf? What did they recommend?’

‘Breathing exercises actually. And extra milk and cookies.’ There was a pause. ‘This is why I love coming to Australia. I quite often get left a beer instead of milk and cookies.’ Nick winked.

Oh dear. 

In the end I prescribed Nick some Magnesium with B vitamins (the Magnesium would relax his very highly strung nervous system and ease his leg cramps while the B vitamins would help with the fatigue), some zinc with C vitamins to build his immune system and some beautiful liquid herbs to improve the overall health of his digestive system while healing his nervous system, increasing his energy and lifting his mood.

I was just about to talk to Nick about referring him onto a health professional who could help with his identity belief, when he asked if he needed a second consult. 

‘I’d love to see you again in two weeks to see how this treatment plan is working for you…’

‘I don’t live locally. I actually live in the Arctic. We, my wife and I, we’re just in town buying local products for Christmas.’ Oh dear.

‘We could Skype if you’re happy to?’

‘Perfect. Let’s Skype. By the way, your little boy is after a Transformer. Is his favourite Optimis Prime like his dad’s was?’

‘Ummm… It is actually,’ I said quietly.

‘Ah well, at least it will be lighter to get in and out of the sleigh than that 50cc motorbike you and your sisters got, was that 1986?’

‘Um… Probably was.’

‘I always appreciated stopping at farms like the one you grew up on,’ Nick was getting up to leave now. ‘You always left hay out for he reindeer. Are you sure this will start to work before Christmas?’

Ohhhh. I’m a believer. If my husband set this up…. Let’s face it… He’s just not this creative!

‘Yes,’ I said trying to recover. ‘Liquid herbs are really effective. And easily absorbed. They’re great. Plenty of time to feel much healthier. You’ll feel like a new person. Or like yourself.’ I wasn’t at my best.

‘Tell your kids I said hi,’ Nick said. ‘They’re both on my good list.’

And off he went out my little courtyard and up the path.

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