The Thermophase Folly

So… funny story!

Last Monday morning my first booking was a client and friend who we’ll call ‘Mrs M.’ We did her consult and I said to her, ‘You really need Thermophase Detox Essentials, but I’m all out.’ Then I thought for a minute and added, ‘Actually, you can have mine. I ordered myself some and it’s been sitting in my kitchen and I haven’t even opened it.’

Mrs M was entirely happy and off she went with the Thermophase I’d ordered for myself.

What I don’t think I told her, was that Thermophase is absolutely disgusting. It had sat in my kitchen unopened for a week because every single time I looked at it, I had to pretend I hadn’t really seen it and I ran from the room. It’s that bad.

It’s also that effective. While we were away holidaying in the caravan, I would have sat down at the end of the day most days with a red wine. Trust me when I say that when you have four people in a caravan, a red wine at the end of the day is medicinal!

However, I’ve felt the effects of it. About four times a year I really feel like I need a little of my own medicine, and this time, I knew that Thermophase would do the trick. So I ordered it. I just didn’t drink it!

Anyway, my second client of the day rocked in last Monday, let’s call her ‘Mrs J,’ with pretty much all the same things going on as Mrs M.

‘You’d really benefit from Thermophase, but I’ve just run out,’ I told her. ‘How about I order some today and drop it off to you?’

Mrs J was happy and off she went. I jumped online to order Thermophase and it had a new label. Fancy, I thought, but thought no more of it.

The very next morning I received this exact message from Mrs M;

“Are you trying to kill me? That stuff is worse than herbs!” She also added lots of laughing emojis so I knew she was really actually enjoying the god-awful soul-destroying flavour of Thermophase.

The next day was Wednesday and I met my Metagenics rep in town for a coffee and an update on what’s going on in the science behind our practice. No sooner had we sat down than he said, ‘Thermophase has changed! We have a flavour technician and she’s really good! I’ll get us some water.’ And disappeared.

Now, I don’t get out often. Sitting with an adult having a coffee is a bit of a treat. All I could think was, ‘he’s going to wreck my coffee! I’m never getting the flavour of Thermophase out of my mouth after this! Wah!’ (The ‘Wah’ I’ve picked up from my seven year old son. It’s annoyingly catching!)

So there I was, waiting for my rep to return with water and thinking; how am I going to get out of drinking this goo in public? What if I spit it everywhere? What if I choke? Aargh!

But, he returned and started stirring a scoop of Thermophase powder into the water.

‘Thermophase would have to be the worst tasting thing I ever ask a client to take,’ I suggest gently.

‘It was. Just wait until you try this!’

Oh man. So I tried it.

I nearly died. It’s completely changed. It actually tastes really good! It looks like orange juice and tastes almost like caramel. It’s absolutely palatable. Goodness you can actually drink.

So now… I can’t bring myself to tell Mrs M that she had the very last batch of filthy tasting Thermophase. If you’re reading this, Mrs M, I’m really sorry! But I’m so thankful you took mine!

And Mrs J… I’ll drop your new glorious tasting Thermophase off shortly. Enjoy it!

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